Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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all jokes aside...

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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kennah campion... being nice

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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