What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

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69

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Walking.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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