Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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69 :)

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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