Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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Amazing

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Apple juice.

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Religionh

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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