Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Penis.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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Bean.

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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