What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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I can count to potato.

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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