I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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womens rights

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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