Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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