why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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This is not a joke

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops