if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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