Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

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Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

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Hi

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What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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U mad?

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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What if the rest of you value something wrong?

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Ya know what's sad? You can only submit one dislike on this website.

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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