- Anti Joke

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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