What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mamas so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops