Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

to get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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