What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

Womens rights.

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

WUT SMELLS ? my poo

What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

How do you survive the plague? you dont.

Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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