How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Jesus was a good guy

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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