Yo mamma's so old... oh way no she's dead

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

A Frenchman stays and fights

Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

womens rights.

Snarf Nuggets

What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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