Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

Knock Knock. Who's there? .

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

brandon ya twwat

Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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