What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

you know whats funny the letter Q

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

SC Johnson a Family Company

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

Why did the man die? He got shot!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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