Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Why did i write this? I was bored

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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