Hi

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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