A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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The Pope

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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