What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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69

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops