Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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9

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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Ken wins!

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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