When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Gay's rights

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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Pickles

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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