Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Why? Whats wrong?

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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Woman.

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Stop being a centipede

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Comedy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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