A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops