Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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Welcome to die!

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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Penal Dysfunction

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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A black man and a white woman walk out of a mall restroom holding hands and sweating. The white woman is arrested on the spot for statutory rape and sent to prison for 10 years. The black man was barely 16 years old.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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Youve got to spell the name right you dead dylan fuck

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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