What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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