Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

Girls Basketball.

What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

What does a Dominican and a Russian have in common... they are both thinking of a funny anti-joke to post on this site...

A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

1 Jew XD

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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