How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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