- Anti Joke

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

penis

What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

You: A man is riding his motorcycle down a mountain road when he wipes out. When he wakes up he is in a monastery. He says to the monks "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'll be happy to pay for the room." The monk says "It's alright, you may stay here the night while you heal." That night, the monk brings the man to a room and says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will knock on your door three times. Do not answer the door." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. someone knocks on his door. He ignores it and sleeps on, but is obviously curious. The next day the monk says "I think it would be best for you to stay here another night. Your leg is very injured." The man says "Alright," and he spends another night. Before he goes to bed, the monk says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will knock on your door three times. Do not answer the door." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. there is a knock at the door. This time, he answers to door. There is a monk on the other side. The monk says nothing and turns around. The man follows him and the monk walks to the second floor of the monastery and walks into room, closing the door behind him. The man tries to open the door but finds that it is locked, so he goes back to his room and goes to bed. The next day he asks the monk "What is in that room?" the monk says "I told you not to answer the door," the man says "I was curious. What is in that room." The monk says "I cannot tell you, you would have to become a monk." So the man leaves, but he cannot stop obsessing about that room. Over the next year he loses his job, his wife leaves him and all his friends stop talking to him, because all he can think about is what is behind this door. Exactly one year later he is riding his motorcycle along that same mountain road, and he purposefully wipes out in the same place. When he wakes up he is in a monastery. He says to the monk "I have to know, what is behind that door?" The monk says "I cannot tell you. You would have to become a monk." The man says "Fine." The man goes to leave, but the monk insists he spend the night, as his leg is hurt once again. When he goes to bed, the monk says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will come and knock on your door. Do not answer it." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. someone knocks on his door. He answers it, and a monk is there. The monk says nothing, turns around and walks away. The man follows the monk. The monk moves up to the second floor of the monastery, and goes into a room. The man tries to slip in behind the man, but is a second too late. He tries to open the door but finds it locked, so he goes downstairs and goes back to bed. The next day he goes to the monk and says "What is in that room?" The monk says "I told you not to answer the door." The man says "I know, but I was curious. What is in the room." The monk says "I cannot tell you, you would have to become the monk." The man says "Fine," and leaves. Over the next year, he commits himself to becoming a monk. He learns all the lessons of the monastery and returns one year later to the monastery. He says to the monk "I have become a monk, and I want to join this monastery. Now, what is behind that door?" The monk brings the man to the room and opens the door, and he cannot believe his eyes. Friend: What was behind the door? You: I cannot tell you. You would have to become a monk. (Thank you Sarah Seguin)

There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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