Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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That didn't hurt.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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