Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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q

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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knock knock who's there police

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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I like pom

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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