Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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What is the difference between black people and HIV? They are of a specific ethnicity whom which share specific ideals and background; whilst the other is a virus contracted from sexual intercourse.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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