Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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BWAT

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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