Hi Shelby!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats another word for Thesaurus?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ugh good riddance

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

thumb_up thumb_down +11

alert("The Game");//

thumb_up thumb_down +11

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops