DOWN

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Your Mom

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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I only like NY as a friend.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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