A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Period Blood

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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