Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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An asian walks out of math class

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops