Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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My mom.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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