Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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You know George Washington? He died.

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What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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