when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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no u

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Women's rights

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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your mother is so lesbian

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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