Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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Women's sports.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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