What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

josh roberts you speccy cuunt

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

thumb_up thumb_down +17

lol

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

yo mamas so fat, she started working out

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Communism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

AVI IS A FAG

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops