why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Hey

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

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baby seal walks into a bar

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops