why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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Please don't rape me.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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john liked the paper........ so he took it

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Frown is a four letter word.

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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