Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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NEVER

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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Come in

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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Ancient Greeks rights

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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