two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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NEVER

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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American Idol

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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