So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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I love Ciara!

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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